To be honest, I don’t have the answer and ok, maybe hate is a strong word, but I’ve definitely seen a pattern where I hear or see other women say how they don’t like this particular woman because of so and so. She brags too much, or she’s so full of herself, when she’s actually just talking about her achievements and how proud she is. Heck, I’ve even thought this about other women and never really knew why or stopped to think about it at the time.
Whatever about the opposite sex thinking we brag too much. I can probably deal with that because I understand we are genetically different and don’t exactly experience much of the same things only women do so its much harder to empathise, but other women hating on other women just because we feel they’re too full of themselves. What does that even mean and why do we automatically do this?
I think the first time I became aware that this is unconscious behavior and is actually conditioned in us was when I started following Jameela Jamil and learning about ‘cancel culture’. Jameela’s message is that we are conditioned (largely by the powers of the press) to tear other women down when we speak up, or say how we feel, or even when the media decides that we’re getting a little too big for our stilettos. Simply put, when we’ve had enough of a woman, we tear her down or try find faults to belittle her experience. And of course, we don’t really realise that what we’re doing is actually subconsciously programming ourselves to automatically hate when another woman is doing well, or speaks about her achievements with confidence, or just speaks up against anything really. Until you fully become conscious of this, you won’t understand it or see it.
Love Island is a major gossiping point in our lady’s group chat at the moment and of course we dissect everything, thinking we’re body language experts, psychologists etc (all a bit of fun really). Well one woman in particular has really sparked something and that’s the lovely Priya Gopaldas. Now put aside any other biases you have about her personality and how she, at times, behaved in the villa because, let’s face it, none of us are perfect and we can all be ridiculous at times. Focus more on her ability to know that she has achieved a lot through her studying medicine and working towards becoming a doctor. She knows she’s an incredibly intelligent woman and she owns that. She speaks about it with great confidence. Somehow though, to other women, that’s her bragging and being full of herself….. How?!?!?
Ladies, why do we automatically feel like we must hate another woman who loves to talk about herself?
Take a moment here to just think about it. How many times have you caught yourself saying “there’s just something about her I don’t like”, “will she ever just stop talking about her [insert achievement]”, “she’s so full of herself”, “she thinks she’s so much better than everyone else”, and the list goes on. Actually, if there’s any others you can think of, leave them in the comments. Have you ever stopped to just take a step back and ask yourself why you think that? You don’t know this woman, why are you making this assumption?
There’s a plethora of rabbit holes we can explore in order to try to understand this and where the behavior stems from and I’m not really a professional in human behaviour or psychology to give advice on this either. I just hope that if you came across this blog today, that it makes you think about your own actions and become aware of some of the feelings you harbor about other women, particularly those you don’t know. Use this as your sign to just be present and sit with your thoughts for a bit. If you realise that maybe your feelings and thoughts might come from a place of hate, ask yourself why? If you want to explore it and understand it more, do the research. There’s no limit to how much growth and self-healing you can have ❤️.